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Where's Melli Update

Mission: To Find Melli

Codename: The M Files

Last Sighting: 1/6 outside a book-packing plant in Queens NY

Known Aliases: The Mellster, Melli Of Deepwood, The Big M

Psychological Profile: Pending

Appearance: Darn Cute

Age: Unknown, rumored to have been around the block a bit

Sex: Only once that we know of

Data: Courtesy of CIA Satellite Tracking, Richmond, VA

ATTENTION: Note the stunningly realistic satellite diagram.


	Reported Sightings Please see enclosed Photo No. MXs120. This was sent to the CNN headquarters in Atlanta in a sealed brown envelope. The plane is a Lear Jet, model 2XA34, manufactured in 1987. Preliminary lab reports indicate a "negative pixel haze" in the shadow immediately surrounding Melli's face. Further tests have been ordered. The second photograph, No. MXs121, is an obvious fake and was received by Field Operative Big Dipper at a known drop-off point on Capitol Hill, Washington, D.C. Big Dipper reported his source as saying, "The man that gave it to me was clean. Real clean. It was as if he'd been scrubbed with sandpaper and hosed down with Lysol." ATTENTION: If you have in your possession any visual evidence that could reveal Melli's current location, we urge you to file a report immediately.

Items found in Melli's purse


	Side Note: Giant Noggin is interested in securing herself a handsome beret like the one worn by the gentleman in the bottom right-hand corner of this photo. For the record she denies all rumors that she's balding. Instead she claims to be "really into" looking like a French Cardinal.


	Exhibit #2248352X Foreign Currency (see accompanying photo) One WonderBodice A 4"x2" wedge of Swiss cheese (mold-growth tests pending) One cleaned and oiled sheep's bladder One letter of introduction to the "Men Who Hate Women But Love Being Clean" Self Help Group, Laguna Beach CA branch One 1 inch square piece of human skin. DNA and WBB (Where on the Body did this Beauty come from?) tests pending

Investigation Status:

"Frankly we're at a dead end on this one. Our field-operatives are turning up no substantial new leads," says M-Files Chief Investigating Operative, Giant Noggin. "Everyone and their dog claims to have seen Melli. We've had reports of her on Nicholas Cage's arm at Cannes, working on 20/20 as a boom operator, and swimming the Florida Straits with a band of illegal Cubans. From now on we will only follow up on sightings made by accredited sources."

BREAKING NEWS: Melli Armed & Dangerous in Northern Europe!

Index:

Cooking with Tavalisk

What The Readers Say:

"The Bakers Boy was one of the best three fantasy novels I have ever read. My other favorite authors are: Terry Brooks and Angus Wells. You have an exceedingly readable style and I am looking forward to your future efforts."

Jeremy Mucha

What The Readers Say:

"Just finished The Baker's Boy. Wonderful story! It has a Tolkienish feel to it. By which I mean that the world you created in your novel is almost real. You feel what the characters feel, you live their lives as the pages turn. I look forward to the next book in The Book of the Words series."

John P. David