Where's Melli?
At last, due to great demand (okay, okay one guy named Steve in
Cardiff) I present the mystery of the dueling covers. On your left, I
present the US cover art to The Baker's Boy, and on your right, I
present the UK version of the same book. Now those of you with keen
eyesight and acute powers of observation, may be able to discern that
something is missing from one of them. What's that you say? The
pimple above Jack's left eyebrow. Wrong. MELLI IS GONE!! To the best
of my knowledge this strange and inexplicable abduction occurred
somewhere over the mid-Atlantic. Was her plane hijacked by terrorist?
Did she mysteriously change her identity at some point during the
in-flight movie? Was she abducted by aliens? Or did she in fact never
catch that ill-fated flight? Is she currently somewhere in a suburban
Chicago hospital recovering from a sex change operation? We NEED to
know. Where has Melli gone?
Melli's last confirmed sighting was at a book-packing plant in
Queens NY. She was wearing a blue, low-cut dress, and her mood was
said to be "playful." One observer noted that, "After a long run of
bad luck, Melli was finally getting back on her feet again. She was
looking forward to her trip to England...she'd even taken to riding
her horse on the wrong side of the street." Another source who does
not want to be named said, "Yeah, the Mellster looked happy enough,
but I got the feeling that deep down she was nervous. Jittery. Kept
looking-over her shoulder." Earlier that same morning, we have
unconfirmed accounts of a dark-stranger waiting outside the plant's
west gate. Not much is known about the man at this point except that
he was seen scrubbing his hands vigorously with a Kentucky Fried
Chicken wet-wipe.
Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to find Melli. Where is
she? Did she get on that plane? Did she have a change of heart or
hair color? Who is that dark stranger? Did he order extra crispy or
original? If you believe you have the answers to these questions file
your report with your nearest operative. Remember: the truth is out
there.
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MX1245AC-1
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