Now moving swiftly along. First and foremost you will need an assistant to help with the mundane chores like measuring, boiling, chopping and garnishing. In order to avoid confusion, I will, hereafter, be referring to your assistant chef as "your Gamil." For example: "Order your Gamil to pull the snails from their shells." Have you got that? Good. It is important never to lose sight of the fact that you are a culinary leader and your job is to lead, not cook.
Now, back to cooking. As you may or may not know, I have a great fondness for the finer things in life. Some have called me a gourmand and they are, of course, quite right. Knowing all I do about the culinary arts I have decided it would be a great service to the world if I passed on some small portion of my knowledge for posterity. I have found no one willing to disagree with this assertion and have therefore judged it sound. The cooking found herein is not for fancy French chefs or people called Wolfgang in Bel Air, it is for men and women with spirit and gusto, who aren't afraid to kill a few things in the process. Remember, my little sweetmeats, most of what you eat is dead.	As in all tasks worthy of doing well, I urge you to put your best foot forward at all times. Do not hesitate to punish your Gamil, throw a temper tantrum or goad your cat. Genius like ours demands certain physical outlets. We deserve it.   Tavalisk Cooking Tip #1 When in doubt as to whether your meat is spoiled or not: feed it to your cat first and then wait for two hours. If after the given period of time the cat still lives then the meat is suitable for human consumption